In my previous post about Neopets, I talked a little bit about being identifiable:

I used quite an identifiable username, which I do not mind within Neopets, but very reluctant to disclose outside of it as I shared this pseudonym across multiple online accounts. As such, this post is not a shrine where I will go into detail about my Neopets, as that is too identifiable.

Similarly, a topic I have seen discussed on Mastodon recently was anonymity online, particularly when blogging. Although I am unsure if I have any original thoughts to contribute to the conversation, particularly since I feel Frills already touched on many thoughts I share, I thought I would nonetheless briefly clarify why I post anonymously.

Growing Up Online

When I started using the internet as a child, things were much different in the 1990s. I remember many safety guides instructing us as children to not trust anyone and tell no one any identifiable information about who you are. At most would be a disclosure of a first name and the old “ASL” (Age/Sex/Location), to which I would respond as a thirteen year old with “13/F/UK”.

As a result, seeing the Internet develop into more identifiable social media with full names and more precise locations as strange. Although I am no longer a child, I still feel conscious about my privacy and identity, and have never shared much information about myself online, likely due to these warnings drilled into my head as a child. As such, although I spent pretty much my entire online life anonymous, doing so wasn’t done as a deliberate decision of “let’s do this and be anonymous!” - I was merely continuing what I had always done. At least, it wasn’t a conscious decision until I started this website.

Jessica Journals

I’ve lightly touched on this subject when it comes to my website in my About Me page:

The reason I like my accounts connected to this identity to be simply “Jessica” is because I am not comfortable yet in creating an identity that can be followed across the internet. For now, I’m just “Jessica” or “Jessica Journals” at a push.

This relates back to identities I have previously created (such as my Neopets username), and how it may reveal a bit too much about you if someone is able to cross-examine all accounts online with that same username, even if they don’t individually disclose much.

But, I could have created this blog with my real name as I had not used it elsewhere online, though aside from the nagging safety fears in my head from childhood arising and how having complete strangers know your full name is unlikely a good idea with creeps knocking around, I would also find writing under my real name to be very limiting.

I am still exploring aspects of my identity, of who I am regarding many aspects of my life, including mental illness, neurodiversity and sexuality, and being able to explore aspects of myself that I have previously been unaware of in a more private setting, though within online communities, has been liberating and aided me in this experience. If I were writing under my real name, either here or on Mastodon, I would be too worried of people I know in real life finding this blog and changing how they perceive me before I am ready to disclose to them, if ever at all.

Actually Anonymous?

Despite this, it could be argued if they found this website they would quickly identify me due to amount of information about myself that I have written about. I received a direct message on Mastodon a few months ago from a mutual asking about this sort of thing, about keeping things personal but anonymous at the same time.

I responded saying:

I don’t have anything like a personal Facebook or Twitter, my online presence is very limited. However, I think, although my website is personal, because it is anonymous too, I’d be surprised if someone I knew stumbled on it and thought it was me, particularly as I am not open to others about being autistic or asexual, so those aspects would likely dissuade them.

So, not an issue, but I think if you’re open about all aspects of your life, and you have online profiles everywhere, then I think your situation will be different to mine.

Perhaps I am naive in my thinking, but I feel comfortable with this balance of being able to express myself and talk to others about shared interests, and still feel a sense of safety that I am able to freely write without feeling like I can be traced back.

The word “feel” is thus key here. It may not be accurate, but the comfortability of, well, anything, is often defined by how one feels - do you feel comfortable? And at the moment, I do feel comfortable with my level of anonymity.